#Bestguide2014 as voted by Melody-San
God... I haven't laughed this hard all week. Seriously, massive props.
I would like to thank my fans, my parents and my future girlfriend (lol like that would ever happen) for supporting our lpq abuse stack.
#VANBOB 2014
You know I'm usually not a fan of your stack and way of playing Dota, but dude, you won it with this guide.
emptyjar, you're a fanboy that hunts me in each post that has anything to do with our group. roflgetalife
no, they use people with less IQ like this guy who can't help but feed in the 2.5k bracketpool lololololololo
http://dotabuff.com/players/86788082/matches
I remember Vrok claiming at some point that 5 stacked group always gets dire, was that never the case?
Also, did dotabuff not always record games when someone dodged?
Answer these questions, and you get 10/10 guide.
This is the guide Chris followed to become the no. 1 hated person on /r/dota2, follow it at your own risk.
@Concede that's true most of the time. In 10 games you end up 9 times dire. At least you did when it used to match 5man stacks against no 5-man stack players
@vanart oh boy, the hate is coming. Is that rising from badness or sadness? Oh right, both xD To be honest, why don't you accept the truth as is it and don't get mad over it? By the way... If you dare to refer to my match history and -800 solo mmr in 2 months I can only tell you one thing - start 3/0=lose game (By the way, in almost 90% of the games there HD and GPM/XPM were wayyyy higher than even the second guy in the team) :)))))))
After all, maybe one day you can get better than this, because this hero in push strat is so hard you know.
http://dotabuff.com/matches/412043231
EDIT: notice how enemies had wisp+ursa but lost because didn't go rosh lvl 1? They should have used time machines to read this guide before playing doto so another ++++for this guide proving in practice
^
I should make a guide for venge since you clearly have no clue how the hero works past the 15 min mark. loolololololollool
OK, why were you DIRE every time you stacked in LOW PRIORITY??
BECAUSE, the team with the highest accumulated MMR will ALWAYS be DIRE.
Question answered #swagger
just 1 question
why can't you queue on any other server in lpq? you could potentially lower the 10 minute queue time to 9 minutes if you checked more server locations.
^Because Russia is the lowest skill server that their pings aren't moronicly high.
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This guide will focus on how to play the Ursa Wisp LOWPRIO RUS abusing "comb''
[Color=#ffff00]Introduction[/color]
Ursa is a fucking monster bear who destroys anything in its path if following this guide right.
Wisp aka LE BALL is just an annoying wierdly sounding stupid ball who is pretty much useless without Ursa.
[Color=#008000]Pros:[/color]
- You get uber high winrate which u might not honestly deserve.
- Well thats it i think
[Color=#ff0000]Cons:[/color]
- You 'might'(WILL) get banned on dotabuff for playing it.
- Its not even fun
- You get mad when losing and you end up lonely with no friends left
- You actually start to think you are good
- You actually have to talk to PEOPLE in teamspeak to make it work
- You get mass Ursa Wisp games
- "Ursa wisp" pickers
- 10 minutes que time.
- Your whole repetation will get fucked up
- Who the fucks wanna play a a bear or a stupid ball 2000 games
[size=15]Lets head over to the real deal.[/size]
STEP 1
First you wanna find 4 retarded people who got some extra chromosomes that you can persuade by saying
"you will get really high winrate on dotabuff if you do this combo with me and get some bitches"
STEP 2
After finding those 4 mongoloids you tell the weakest mentally stable guy in your party to get lowprio. (since this doesnt work if u dont have Lowprio on russia server)
STEP 3
Press find match
STEP 4
Press find match again since your stack became radiant and this clearly doesnt work on radiant.
STEP 5
Sucess your stack is now dire!
Before this game you already choose one guy in the stack to be a dodger. (This guy was choosen due to having the weakest brain and most hated in the stack *VAN-ART*)
"dodger" is the guy who disconnects in the picking phase. This will be explained soon why.
STEP 6
Pick Ursa and Wisp.
- Ursa buys stout sheild and some healing salves and tp to mid first.
- Wisp buys a tp and some salves and tps second.
- Support buys wards and gives to mid hero who buys a teleport and tps mid third and wards bot rune.
STEP 7
- If seeing an enemy coming (thx to the ward) you instantly pauses like a dick and screams in teamspeak [Color=#ffff00]''GO DODGE GO DODGE THEY ARE COMING FADI GO DODGE FFS''[/Color]
- XXXX had abandoned the game. No stats will be recorded. (JOKES ON YOU. DOTABUFF RECORDS IT ANYWAY)
STEP 7.1
- If enemys dont come you already fucking won.
[size=16]FINAL AND MOST IMPORTANT STEP[/size]
- After enemies got bored of getting stomped by your skilled combo. YOU MUST SPAWNCAMP THEM IN FOUNTAIN. THIS IS A MUST.
Item builds
- Items doesnt even matter when runing this combo. So buy whatever you fucking want and dont have fun.
Skill build
- Isnt it obvious by now? [size=30]It doesnt fucking matter, you are a BEAR. A FUCKING BEAR DOOD[/size]
Some extra tips to help the braindead guys who gonna try this
- DONT
Oh wait this was supposed to be about the hero oh well, take my guide of true manpower or fuck off
I wanna thank the mongoloids who made this guide possible
VANBOB FADA CHRIZZY BAITSZZSZ (some russians who i stacked with since i was desperate and had no friends since im socially retarded but whatever who cares right this is dota)